Tw:rape, sexual assault, homicide
Because sometimes yelling Fuck you you Fucking Cunt and then vomiting on them isn’t enough.
By guest blogger ‘the guru-priest, leader of Men’
The world is facing a huge problem in sexual assault and it is time women, in particular victims of crime, begin to take responsibility for the actions of criminals.
As is well understood the normal reaction of any man to being around women is the desire to rape them, and sometimes worse. Now those of us who nevertheless disapprove of this reaction have for years been offering practicle advice to women to allow them to prevent these crimes. Nevertheless we know that advice like “don’t wear clothes you like” or “don’t enjoy alcohol at night” or even “throw yourself at the feet of your attacker chanting the name of god” bizarrely havn’t gotten through. Now I’ll be the first to admit that this may be because the advice wasn’t always good. We all know the unfortunate health consequences that followed for those who took the advice to remove their genitals and anus…
But help is now at hand for those who have chosen (god knows why) to be born women. At our retreat we can now offer lessons in how to spontaneously combust. The result of these lessons is easy to apply and requires little thought in what we believe is a stressful situation. When toy are attacked you apply our simple technique and…poof…you burn. Sure you’ll die a horrible death but it is a small price to pay to stop these poor men ruining their lives.
By learning and applying our technique you will be able to contribute to these men getting their unfortunate actions under control”